Party Planning 101 - Let's Start with the Basics
- Nichole Groom
- Jan 24
- 14 min read
Updated: Feb 24
WARNING: Long post ahead! This content is exhaustive when it comes to planning. But you'll find it super-helpful in ideating, organizing and executing. Once you get the basics down, you'll find it's a stress-free approach to all things celebration.
It all starts with a feeling. You want to host a party. Not just any party - you have a vision. You imagine the theme, the decor, the vibe. Maybe you're going for an over-the-top Halloween party. Maybe it's a spring brunch with a gorgeous mimosa bar and spring vegetable quiches on the patio. Or how about a Galentine's party, complete with chocolate martinis and a fun gift exchange? There are so many options!
You've got the vision - now where do you start? There's a lot that goes into party planning, even for a small crowd. But starting with a simple but detailed plan means everything falls right into place, making your party spectacular for everyone - including you!
Grab some coffee and settle in - I'll break down planning into detailed phases, with lots of callouts along the way. You'll also find a link to handy planning outline at the bottom!
The Throughline of it All - Your Guests
Before we get to theme, guest lists, cocktails and all other details, let's start here - keep guests front-and-center of all planning stages. After all, they're the ones you're celebrating! Think about their comfort and needs as you plan. Even the simplest of gatherings can be truly epic if everyone leaves feel seen, appreciated and celebrated.
Got it? Ok - on to the details!
GET READY - THE PLANNING AND INVITE PHASE
Theme and Vision - the Cornerstone of Your Party Planning
I REALLY love a party theme. I once hosted a outdoor welcome party for 150 people in the Caribbean with a pirate theme - I literally hired a pirate ship to come on shore and entertain the guests! I've hosted Spring brunches, Oktoberfest parties, and Mele Kalikimaka parties. I also have the basement to prove it.
You'll find lots of fun and unique themes with Decadent Parties to get you started - or use your imagination! If you need ideas to get the juices flowing, here's your start:
What's your favorite holiday or time of year? If you have a favorite, chances are you'll be excited about it and will bring a lot of creativity to your vision.
Do you like nostalgia? Do you reminisce about a decade long - or not so long - ago? Every decade has its own dress, music, food and vibe. Decade-themed parties are great any time of the year and guests have fun participating.
Are you a foodie? A wine lover? Or just love to eat? Truthfully, I fall into all categories. Which is why a dinner planned around types of food (think Italian, Chinese, 50's style dining) is always appreciated. Hosting a blind wine tasting with friends is fabulous. Fondue parties (love those!), appetizer shindigs, or dessert get-togethers are also a blast and bring friends and family together in a relaxed environment.
Like playing a good board game or card game? Poker parties, board game parties and other card games are fun any time of the year, but especially welcome during the fall or winter months.
Ok - you have your theme. Write it down to capture your vision. It's fine to adjust and refine - but capturing the main idea helps guide your decisions.
Who, What, When, Where, Why (we'll tackle 'How' next)
Let's get down to business. The following questions help get your plan started:
Who: Document your guest list. It's important not just for invitations and communication, but also for budget. Write/type the names, include any +1s, and have a good handle on headcount.
What: This is 'What do you want guests to do, bring, etc.' It could involve asking guests to bring an appetizer or drinks. Or letting them know they don't need to bring anything. Same goes for attire - do you have a dress theme? Costumes, formal dinner attire, etc. make a difference if you have a vibe you're looking to achieve.
When: This may seem like a no-brainer, but some things to consider when deciding on a date:
Try to give guests at least 4 weeks' advance notice. For the holidays, I'd give 6 - 8 weeks.
If guests have kids, check school calendars. Scheduling a party during Homecoming, Spring Break, or other school holidays makes it harder for people to attend.
Other events may also impact calendars. Most cities and churches have major festivals or other events people attend. If possible, you may want to steer clear of these dates.
Where: Yep, seems easy - but include the complete address in your communication. If there are special instructions (parking, apartment number, etc.), detail this, too.
Why: Similar to 'What', think about why you're hosting your event. Let guests know too, so they can come prepared to celebrate and be a part of the fun!
And now, on to the How
Once you've answered the questions above, it's time to move to PRE-PLANNING. You may bounce back and forth as you work through this phase, which is great. It eliminates surprises in the end. Here's what we do in pre-planning:
Without considering the number of people you're inviting, think about budget. What can you spend? And where should you make the biggest investments?
Food and drink are typically your largest budget item, especially if guests won't bring anything. This is is also a good time to start outlining a rough menu, from both a budget and planning standpoint.
Decor is next in line - but 'shop your home' first before you start making purchases!
Don't forget essentials - plates, napkins, ice, condiments, etc., can add up quickly.
Mailing invites? You can purchase the fill-in type, or order customized invites. Give yourself plenty of time for ordering, addressing and mailing. Don't forget to add in postage!
NOW - using the detail above, take your guest list and 'cross-reference' it with your menu and other essentials to come up with a good idea of spend.
If it feels out of reach, adjust menu items, consider cutting back on decor, or opt for online invites. You may also choose to adjust the guest list, but that's worst-case scenario.
Tip: For more elegant parties, showers or holiday parties, a printed invitation is the perfect way to elevate your event and create excitement for your guests! You can still set up a 'save the date' electronically, but a mailed invite definitely sets the stage.
I love using Zazzle for personalized invitations. Tons of designs and so customizable! PLUS - you. can upload addresses for pre-printed envelopes, too.
More about Food and Drink Planning
Not only is this your largest budget item, but it also factors in to your communication. Before we review the invite topic, let's look at your food and beverage decisions. The summary below will help you decide which direction to choose.
Dinner Party vs. Appetizers:
Dinner Party: I love hosting dinner party and creating a cohesive menu of courses to enjoy. Your dinner may be tied to your culture or a perennial favorite, or complements the season. Plan for at least three courses - salad, entree and dessert - with the option of a light appetizer.
Appetizers: Appetizers are perfect for evening get-togethers. They can reflect your party theme, or be more eclectic, offering a variety of options. A combination of hot and cold appetizers also satisfies everyone's tastes. Include a sweet treat as a tasty surprise.
Host-Served vs 'Pot Luck'
Host-Served: Typically more expensive, it also means you have more control over the menu. It's a treat for your guests to enjoy a dinner or appetizers prepared by you. You should still feel free to recommend guests bring wine or drinks if they ask what to bring.
Pot Luck: This helps with budget and saves time. Typically, parties where guests bring food are more casual. When it comes to Pot Luck dinners, it's acceptable to ask guests to bring a specific item (ie., dessert, pasta side dish, spinach dip, etc.) to avoid duplicates and have the right mix of foods. As the host, it's expected you'll provide at least the main course and accompaniments, including condiments and bread/bakery items.
Full Bar vs. Defined Beverage Selection vs BYOB
Full Bar: It's pretty self-explanatory - having a full bar includes beer, wine and spirits selections. You can keep the selection manageable (for instance, a couple of beer options, 2 - 3 wine options, and the primary liquors) while giving your guests choices.
Defined Beverage Selection: This option most often includes beer (sometimes seltzers) and wine only. It's also a generous option, giving your guests a good selection from which to choose.
Bring Your Own Beverage: I like this option for large parties, outdoor events and casual gatherings such as pool parties or picnics. You may still have a limited selection of beers and seltzers, but it' perfect for a tighter budget while ensuring guests have the drinks they prefer.
Signature Cocktail
I'm a HUGE fan of the signature cocktail, which works best for events such as dinner parties, brunches, and elevated holiday gatherings. They're perfect as a welcome drink, surprising guests and kicking off the party in style.
When planning your signature cocktail, think about presentation - champagne flutes or wine glasses, rimmed glasses, sugared rosemary - to make a statement.
Consider a mocktail for anyone who may not be drinking.
Serve them at the beginning of the party, and then move on. This isn't something to manage throughout the evening.
You don't have to have an exact menu and beverage list planned out at this stage, unless you're planning a dinner party where you'd like guests to provide specific items - you'll want this shared in the invitation. For all other options, just know what direction your taking with food and drinks.
Let's Invite some Guests!
You're locked and loaded with your plan, and you're ready to tell the world! Some important invite callouts:
Social media invites are convenient, but not everyone checks Facebook consistently. Consider using it as a 'save the date,' and to drive excitement for those using the platform.
If digital is your main channel, platforms like Evite and Punchbowl are two user-friendly invite platforms. Both have great templates, help you manage guest lists and RSVPs, and give options to link to registries, if needed. The free versions will include ads, so if that doesn't appeal to you, you'll be spending to send ad-free invites.
If you're sending printed invites, digital notifications are still fantastic for "save the date" messages, and I encourage it. It may take time to gather both emails and mailing addresses, so allow time for this and save it in a safe place for future parties.
Use your invite to share all details AND expectations for your party! Guests need clear communication on what to expect and how to contribute. Outside of invite essentials (date, time, location, reason), be specific on other facets of your party:
Dress code: is there a specific attire for people to wear? Even if it's not a costume, clarify if guests should be dressed for a dinner party, a luau, or a pool party. This helps guests plan, and removes a lot of back-and-forth communication.
What to bring: you may share that an side dish, appetizer or snack is welcome. Setting up a quick sign-up sheet or asking guests for a specific item means better variety and eliminates the guessing game of what's needed. The same goes for drinks - if it's a full bar, let guests know. But if it's beer only, be clear on that, too.
Clearly communicate timing details Start - and end - times: I get it - most people follow the '10- to 15-minutes fashionably
late' rule. But if dinner is served at 6:30, be clear about it on your invite and stick to it. The same goes for the end time - plan on partying late into the night? Then you just need to communicate a start time. But if there's any reason the party needs to wrap up by a certain time, include it.
Gift expectations: Outside of bridal and baby showers, parties for events like birthdays, retirements, and graduations may have different expectations. A simple 'no gifts, please,' or other requests goes a long way in providing clarity.
Let's not forget the fun part! Today's invitation templates - both digital and print - give you soooo many options for setting your party's theme and tone. Look for designs that complement your theme and party decor.
The invite detail above may feel like A LOT. But remember, communicating early and with clear expectations means you avoid follow-up questions, texts, and phone calls along the way.
So when you're ready, hit that 'send' button, drop those invites in the mail and get excited! You're about to host a fantastic party!
GET SET - Decorations, Music, and Food and Drink Planning
Time to take a quick breather. Pat yourself on the back for all the planning you've completed. Since you were thoughtful about the details in the first phase, the next one is straightforward.
Decorations for Setting the Mood
Decor varies greatly, depending on the party theme. Dinner parties simply need a striking centerpiece on the table, maybe a complementing piece on a bar or coffee table. Halloween or Mardi Gras parties benefit from lots of color, light and even music. Incorporate the type of energy you're looking for, and there's no end to the looks you can create.
Start planning decor about three or four weeks out. A simple mood board can guide the look you want to achieve, or search Pinterest or blogs (like this one!) for ideas. Once you have your direction, start collecting or ordering what you need. Don't forget:
Go back to your budget. Don't lose sight of what you can spend.
'Shop your house' for items you have. Don't spend on things you own or can repurpose! And don't be afraid to ask friends or family members to borrow an item or two along the way.
Get creative! Live plants or succulents in place of cut flowers bring a fresh look to a table. Or how about stacks of books to elevate plates of hors' de oeuvres on a table for book club? A little imagination is all that's needed to achieve a unique look.
Be conscious of scale. Three small bouquets on three large tables gets lost. Three small bouquets as a centerpiece gets attention. If your budget and space challenges placing decor throughout, identify strategic areas to consolidate decorations for effect.
Thrifting may surprise you, especially if you're looking for unique items like vases, teapots, trays, and other decor. It's an economical option that can produce surprising results.
Plan glassware, tableware, paper supplies and disposable items at the same time. I like using glassware and tableware when I can, but there are times when paper products are the way to go.
Tip: Other options for creating a fresh, inviting party tablescape include a variety of fresh herbs in terra cotta pots, a collection of candlesticks with lit candles, a small ornamental statue, or a rustic bowl of citrus fruits.
Also look at different textures - concrete, metals, brass, etc. make flowers and candles truly stand out. Look for unique and unexpected combinations.
Order decorations early and consolidate to save on shipping. When they arrive, open immediately to confirm it's as expected. It's not uncommon for people to order decorations only to find poor quality, the item is the wrong size, or the color is wrong.
Create Your Party Soundtrack and Plan for the Tunes
Planning music has become so easy. Music subscription services have thousands of playlists to help set the tone. Or you may want to curate your own selection of songs. I like organizing the music in this stage of planning - it's a time to explore new artists and themes and get creative. If you are creating a 'true' playlist (making a playlist of songs), pay attention to the total playtime. No one wants to run out of music an hour into the party!
Just as important as the soundtrack is the technical side - what's your speaker setup? Not all devices play nice together, and applications may not be compatible. It's easy to test at home, but if you're hosting at another location, be ready to mess around with their system. Better yet, have a backup plan, like a wireless bluetooth speaker.
Last note: keep in mind language that may be offensive to guests. You make like it, but it may not be appropriate or appreciated by other ears.
Eat, Drink and be Merry - Planning Food and Beverages
We're now at my favorite part of planning - the food and cocktails! Similar to decorations, your menu can take several directions. Your upfront planning narrows this down and maybe your menu is set, but if not, there's plenty of room to explore and create a delicious food and beverage menu.
Entire cookbooks are written with this idea in mind, so let's assume you have your overall direction. Detailed party menus and ideas are also found in the Food and Drinks section.
Start with the theme and vision: Sometimes your theme makes it easy to know what you're making. Cinco de Mayo? Tacos and margaritas. Backyard barbeque? Burgers and dogs. Look to incorporate your vision and ideas when you consider the menu.
Level of difficulty: Regardless of whether your a seasoned cook or it's not your thing, anyone can cook for a party. But don't take on anything you're not comfortable with making, or seems overly complicated. If you're not sure, practice the dish beforehand to understand the complexity AND taste it.
Crowd-pleasers: I love oysters. A lot of people do NOT like oysters. As adventurous as you may be in the kitchen, keep guests in mind when it comes to food choices. It's ok to have a unique side or appetizer for those that like to try new foods, but don't have guests leave hungry because nothing appealed to them.
Food allergies and intolerances: You may already know of your guests' food restrictions or specific needs. If not, it's OK to ask guests to share these details, especially if you're hosting dinner. Click here to read more about planning for food intolerances and preferences.
Now build your menu and document where to find recipes. Know EXACTLY where to find them (including page number or site) - to make creating a shopping list and final preparation much easier.
By now you have two lists - your decorations and food and beverage. In addition, anything you ordered is on its way. This is huge! And we're still two to three weeks out. You're doing GREAT!
LET'S GO! Time to Make it Happen
A couple of weeks out from a party, I get a bit antsy. I've got my lists, I'm watching my RSVPs, and it feels like I should be doing more. But in reality, all the planning I've done sets me up to seamlessly execute during the week leading up to the party - which is perfect! But there is plenty to do in advance.
Having a schedule helps me remember the little things and best manage my time. About two weeks out, you get errands knocked out to be focused on main prep the last couple of days.
What goes on the schedule? Here are several tasks to think about:
One to two weeks out:
Shop for beer, liquor and wine
Build your grocery list(s)
Confirm decor is ready
Personal self-care time/make appointments - nails, hair, etc.
One week to a few days out:
Clean and organize - make pantry space, dust baseboards, etc.
Make space in the fridge (you'll thank me for this one)
Shop for final food and beverage ingredients
Set out serving dishes, plates, utensils, glasses, tablecloths, etc.
Day-before tasks and prep
Pre-make any food, dips, etc.
Know how much ice to buy and where you'll store it
Decorate where you can
Day-of tasks and prep
Food and bar prep
Final touch-up cleaning
Final decorations
Your time to get ready - shower, hair, make-up, etc.
Cooking schedule - what goes in the oven and at what time, set out food trays, etc.
The closer to the party date, the more detailed the list - including timeframes. Do as much as you can upfront up until the night before so you're 'day-of' activities are focused on those things that can only be done on party day.
About 30 minutes before, take a quick walk-through of your party space, identifying what's still required. If food is in the stove a bit longer, that's ok. If you need another set of hands from a friend walking through the door, they'll be happy to help. You're down to critical items now. At this point, you've made it happen - and you and your guests will cherish every moment.
A final note - there may still be hiccups. You may burn an appetizer (been there), spill espresso martini in the fridge (done that), or have the electricity go out (that has happened, too). Control what you can, pivot where it makes sense, and ask for help when you need it. Memories are also created in the most unexpected moments.
Be proud of your planning, and have a ton of fun!
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